my birthday wish list

I know it’s a little late, but if anyone is looking for last-minute gift suggestions, here you go:

1. A dishwasher hose. I have only ever really demanded two things of Joe: a wedding ring and a dishwasher. We’ve had the latter a full year, and if it isn’t hooked up soon, one of those two things is getting chucked at his head.

2. A cat muzzle. If they don’t make them, they should. Boo is not a happy camper about this move—I guess three is her lifetime limit or something. But she has let us know the past two nights by meowing at top volume in the early a.m. and not letting us get any sleep.

3. A plumber. So he can fix our brand new showerhead, which leaks. After three disgusting, grimy days without running water, I finally had to shower at work today.

4. A toilet paper holder. My husband apparently does not believe in them, but the members of the household who pee sitting down outnumber him two to one so fair’s fair.

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